Awww poor Lucy

She just fell asleep in the shower.

Lay down in the bath (yes, one of those horrible bath/shower contraptions), on her tummy, put her head down, and went to sleep.

But now she seems quite chipper!

Still coughing, less puking...

9 Hospital visits in 3 years.

We just got home.
From PMH (Princess Margaret Hospital for children).

Lucy has croup. That cough that sounds like a seals bark, and she was having coughing fits so bad she was vomiting :-(

We got to the hospital at 7 (bedtime) and left at 10.30.
She fell asleep in the car on the way home.

I was the only parent on my own. All the kids had families with them - Lucy had just me.
So I sms'd her dad and told him what was happening, but he had already been drinking and couldn't drive (Irish!!)

So it was still just Lucy and I.

We coped though, and to be honest we had fun. She was fine in between coughing spasms, so she was running around sharing out the toys and colouring stuff for all the sick kids. She was really polite, and let the nurses and docs shove crap in her eyes, mouth, poke her belly - the lot. She was my little angel :-)

She had to have steriods to decrease the swelling in her throat, so she could breathe and stop rasping and wheezing. And she just took it!! This is the kid who I have to bribe for 10 mins before taking 2mL of baby panodol!!

On our way out one of the nurses pointed to another and said "Aww look at that girl - isn't she cute!!" And they all agreed :-)

I suppose it was because as we were leaving Lucy was saying thank you and goodbye to EVERYONE!! :P

So there we are. The ninth hospital visit in her short three years...
She has been in for:
Birth
Gastro
Bronchiolitis
pnuemonia
near miss SIDs (that was a few visits...)
Alcohol poisoning (she drank a bottle of aftershave that was behind a high cupboard with a baby lock on - and I was like four steps behind her, she sculled it)
And now croup.

I am hoping that this all builds up and when she is an adult she will have had everything - she will be the healthiest woman out there!

Lights, Camera, Action!!

Yup.
I just got home from the Wiggles Perth Concert.

Freakin Awesome!!

Gotta love those gangly blokes prancing around the stage like popstars :P

They put on a great show to - they danced up the aisles so all the kids could see them, and they had a Very Special Guest - Santa.

And in the interest of health and fitness, Santa had to run up and down the stairs saying hello to people!! Poor Santa!!

All the kids were dancing, most of us 'grown-ups' were dancing - it was really fun :-)

I thought that Lucy would just sit it out like usual - she didn't dance to her favourites Hi-5 earlier in the year...

But she grooved her little ass off!! She had a ball!!!

She kept saying "I like dat song mommy!!"

Her favourites were the teddy bears dancing around the garden and tickling you under there....

My favourite was Captain Feathersword, because he was the biggest dork EVER!!
He also had cool rollershoes...

Oh and since 12 o'clock I have had the following in my head:

"Fruit salad...
Yummy, yummy....
Fruit salad...
Yummy, yummy...."

Repeat. Often. Such is the joy of childrens music!!

Kudos to Greg (yellow sick retired wiggle) xx you had a good run :P

Out of the mouths of babes

Ugh...
Lucy is back from her dads, as usual cranky and whingey...

She has also been telling me "I FOUR!!"

I said "Oh really?"

And she replied "You Nighty ten!!"

Hmm... I am ninety-ten... I thought I felt old this morning....

Extra Extra! Carrie and Jo are farty bum bums!

Now that I have your attention....

Lucy and her little friend Roo decided that it would be really funny to sing that us mommies are fartybumbums over and over and over and over........

Such a nice tune to eat pizza to... *rolls eyes*

Australians are all Ostriches

Congrats to my friend Adam the new Aussie!!!!

Lucy and I went and watched him have the lobotomy, she was really good, seeing as it was NOT a kids kinda event :-)

As Adam got his certificate, Lucy yelled out "Add ahm!! Add AHm!!"
And then ran over to give him a hug :-D She chickened out though, with all the people watching I think! But she had a few people laughing and smiling at her indulgently.
One guy said she was 'so cute!'


It was pretty cool, they played Advance Australia Fair, and Lucy was in awe!!
Looking around with eyes like dinner plates, grinning her head off. I told her we are Aussies, and we are REALLY lucky to live where we do.


Lucy replied indignantly:



"I no ucky, I a girl."

Bum-bum-head yourself!

Ugh, some days you just have to countdown the hours until bed time..

Louise said to me the other day that being a single mother meant that my highs are higher and my lows are lower, and I really agree with her. Lucy does something special, or uses her manners appropriately, or grabs the undivided attention of a stranger for being golden, and I can think 'I am her mother, I helped to mould her into who she is." So the accomplishment we have we can take sole credit for.

The lows however are something else...

If Lucy is a monster all day I have noone to lean on for support. If she comes back from her dads saying nothing but 'bum-bum-head' I am the one who has to figure out ways of stopping her. If she blocks the toilet I have to unblock it, and try to make her understand that it is really hard to unblock toilets, especially if you stuff the paper in with the toilet brush. At the end of the day there is noone who comes home I can vent to. Noone to distract her while I go to the toilet by myself. I go to a notice board on a US site for solo mommies, and one woman wrote that it was ten years before she could go to the toilet by herself!!

The low at 5 every morning when Tiger comes in bright and cheerful. I can't roll over and mutter "for god's sake, I'm sure it has to be your turn today."

Or when I am sick and she is the one who looks after me.

Or when she is sick and I have to hold her, clean up and change sheets all simultaneously.


I however am incredibly lucky.


Once a fortnight I have a weekend to myself, where I can shower and pee by myself (not in the shower, no matter what Madonna says - it is gross).


Yes, I will get over it, after every rain there will be a rainbow, I know we are just in a low right now, we will get through it, but I guess that is the point of having an online blog thingy - I can have a bitch and a whinge and make everyone blind from reading my awesomely long bloggy-bitch!!
*goes back to unclogging toilet*
**thanks brain for reminding body to pick up more gloves**

Happy Birthday Lucy!

Mommy: How old are you today?
Lucy:.........
Mommy: Are you three?
Lucy: Not me free! I a GIRL!!

Lucy turns "free"

It was Lucy's birthday party today - she is number three!!

She's never had a birthday party before, and I have NEVER had a party to organise before...

In keeping with that I had about 40 people coming...

So last night I cooked friggen HEAPS - muffins (three types hehehe), sushi, quiches, sausage rolls, freddo cupcakes, and made a load of sandwiches...

Cleaned the house, unblocked the toilet (Lucy clogged it with toilet paper because I ignored her all day), did washing etc etc etc etc...................

I was up until one in the morning organising my little 'prove that you can do it all charade.'

Lucy of course wakes at 5 every morning. So we got up, I sang happy birthday, and told her everyone who was coming today. Then, at about 8.30 (the party started at 9.30) the text messages and phone calls started coming in...

We ended up with 9 adults and 5 kids. And a sh** load of food (and therefore money says poor me lol) wasted. But we had a great day, Lucy was happy to see her friends :-) So thanks to you guys who made it I am grateful to you for trying to stuff your faces for me!!

Lucy had LOADS of pressies to, she was a really lucky girl. She had Barbies (yay!) and a huge dolls house my dad made her, and the Incredibles DVD. My Grandma bought her these two boy dolls, who are just Too Gay To Function. Seriously - one has snakeskin trousers, and they have cutting edge hairdos...

I didn't finish building the Jungle Gym, but I came close.

Go Solo Mom!

Now I just have to last until 7 - then it will be Lucy and my bedtime:)

Luc is off in her room playing with her new dolls, and her pretty white dress is now brown and chocolatey and sandy.. I asked if she had a nice day, and she replied "Smy birfday I bigger now."

So three years ago (looking at the clock hehehe) I was in labour, in hospital, excited (she wasn't born until this time tomorrow, three years ago... uh... whatever).

Three years ago I was engaged, had a wedding organised, a family prepared, a mortgage, a couple of dogs, money, stuff!!

What do I have now?

Love, happiness, hope, and my beautiful child, whom I love more than I could have ever imagined.

We have been through a lot in three years, *raises plastic party cup full of cordial* and here is to a life time more - together :-)

I wanna be a Toys'R' Us Kid!

Today we went to the worst place on earth for a parent...

Toys "R" Us..

Where kids love the choice, and scream coz they aren't allowed to make that choice, or the parents are too poor for a giant pony, or a remote control dinasaur.

So, when I realised I had to take Lucy there I was filled with trepidation...

Heehee.. I should have known I would be happy, and have a fun day :-)
We walked in, and held hands, she didn't run up and down the aisles, or shout or scream! I said we were going in to buy a present for her best friend Paris, and she asked if she could have a present to. I said "no, not today honey."
Lucy said "okaaaaay" in that thoughtful 'you have just told me something new and interesting' kinda way.

So we walked up and down nearly every aisle, coz we didn't know what to get Paris-pie. Every adult we walked past (still holding hands) looked at us in sheer amazement. 'Why do you get such a well-behaved little girl?' You could see the wheels in their heads turning....

We didn't find anything suitable, so I said that was enough toy shopping for one day.

We came back to the front of the store, and I said to Lucy "You have been a very good girl in here today. Shall we buy a present for you?"
The reply was "Oh! Yes pwease mommy!"

How could I resist that little angel?

Heehee, we went home with toilet training Kelly, who comes with her very own toilet, paper, doll to train, and bottles.

Lucy took toilet training Kelly to the cashier, and handed her over without a hint of a frown. She got Kelly back, and said "Tank you lady."

Meanwhile all the rest of the kids in the store were running amok screaming and shouting and throwing themselves on the floor. The cashier looked around and whispered to Lucy, "you are a Very Good Girl."

Oh yes, I also bought a HUGE climbing frame jungle gym thingy, with a slide, but Lucy doesn't know about that one yet, it is for her birthday party this weekend :-)

Tiger birthday party countdown:

Three More Sleeps!!
(Three for me, I will be busy Saturday night making sushi, sandwiches, savory muffins and cakes, and building a giant jungle gym!!)

A 'Go Bananas' Birthday.

Today was the first birthday party of the year for baby club (mothers group).
Little Miah turned three. We went to Go Bananas, and yes, we went bananas...


We played on all the giant play gym stuff, we played in the cubby houses, Lucy made me wait for ten minutes before the imaginary chocolate she cooked me was cool enough to hand over....


Because it is the first birthday in the group, each year we also have it as the baby club not so secret santa birthday for all the kids. So they all got pressies!! Lucy had a Very Pretty Barbie, with a mask and two pairs of shoes....


Then they all gathered around the real birthday girl, and this is the first year they are all old enough to sing 'Happy Birthday' yay!! Although to be honest, there were a few kids just singing to you to you, but they had the right idea....


Lucy loves that song, it is in her top four songs of all time (the others are Hi-5s 'L.O.V.E,' 'It's raining it's pouring,' and 'Ring-a-ring-a-rosie'), so she sang really loudly (and semi-correctly - yay!).


Here is the Lucy version of Happy Birthday:
Huppie birfday to ooooo......
Huppie birfday to ooooo...........
Huppie Birf-daay to Bince........
*lots of giggles*


Oh, the reason she always sings to Bince is it was Mums boyfriends birthday as she was learning the song, so I guess she thinks that Vince is just another word in the song lol

Apparently Lucy is living the life of luxury somewhere without me...

Lucy was playing today, and I asked what she was doing.... This was her answer:

"I go ome on a yacht"

Hmmmm.....

*rushes to the bookshelf to search through books*
We don't really talk about yachts here, so I don't know where she got that idea from..

But, if she saves up all the money she keeps pilfering from my couches, she will be on her way to going home on a yacht. So long as she doesn't try to save that chocolate money again :P

Btw, we are watching a Bugs Life continuously today - Lucy's choice. We woke up at 6.20 (sleep in) and it has been on ever since :-s

A two year old can take on a grown man and kick some serious A**

Went to family bbq today, which as always was really fun..

Figured out how to film using my camera, so filmed the girls beating up my cousin Adam.. Pretty funny stuff, I think Lucy may want to consider a career involving bounty hunting, or other mafia related industries.. She has a good stomp on her..

Insanity or Motherhood?

Lucy embarrassed the hell out of me yesterday at the shops screaming and carrying on, hence my new plan - "breaking spirit of small child."

Taking her out everyday in public.

Back to 1,2,3.

Stopping her drinking so much damned milk....

Getting her to quit peeing in her pants in public - she doesn't do it at home, she doesn't have to do it out..

RESPECT! I am sick of the back chat!


ARG!!


ENOUGH!!!


heeheeheehee

well if that isn't the insane laugh of a mother I don't know what is :-p

the definition of insanity = repeating the same action and expecting a different reaction.... Motherhood to a 't'

It's so hard to have your heart walking around outside your body!

I love Lucy. So incredibly much. A great friend is up the duff (hehehe)(sucker lol) and it has really got me thinking. I love my daughter, what can I do to make her life better? I used to say it everyday for the big-ex. I would wake up each day and think 'what can I do today that will help you out - make your day a bit easier?' Every day I would find one more thing that I could do for him, or do to help him. I have never really done that with my daughter. Perhaps because I know she is stuck with me? That she will never leave? I know obviously that one day she will, and I would like her to leave me as the best possible person she can be at the time.

So, starting from today I am implementing changes into our lives. More good food, more art, more bike riding downstairs. I need to find another mothers group - I have nearly lost contact with mine as they are all on their second babies, busy and absent from my more simple life. Lucy is good hearted, intelligent (smarter than me already... and I have several examples I can give for this statement), and polite. What a great canvas to work with her on! It is strange, because you think that you know what love is, but until you have a tiny child that is yours to care for and protect - you have no CONCEPT of the power.

You know that feeling where you think your heart is bursting with love? Have a child and you will have it every day. Even on the bad days!! (Lucy cried in the car from Joondalup to Perth today because I said we had to get off the moving plane in the shopping centre{who the f*** invented those BTW???}-and I still have those feelings!!)

You know that feeling where you would die to protect the one you love? Have a child and you would of course die to protect them, but you will also LIVE your life to protect them, to nurture them.

"I will carry your first cry wherever I go" - Paula D'arcy

"No one tells you that the change is irreversible. That you will feel in your heart every pain, every loss, every disappointment, every rebuff, every cruelty that she experiences life long." - Pam Brown


I had Lucy, and I stopped wondering about the meaning of life, because I held her in my hands.

Note to self...put Lucy in oven...

"I could learn photography. That could be something to want. I could photograph children. I could have my own children. I would give them yellow roses. And if they got too loud, I would just put them some place quiet. Put them in the oven. And I would kiss them every day, and tell them you don't have to be anybody, because I would know that being somebody doesn't make you anybody anyway." -Gia Carangi

Cousins wedding

It was a great day, Lucy was gorgeous, all dressed up in a blue satin flower girl outfit... I got her ready, then put her in the car to leave and she was SOO cute... then she opened her mouth:
"I faaarted mommy! Hehehe!!"
Yes, you can make her LOOK gorgeous, but act it? NEVER!!


We got to the wedding early, to get the pictures of all the girls getting ready, and of course Lucy gets shy and wouldn't go near all these strangers..
Most of the family and the four bridesmaids all came from Japan for the weekend, and the girls saw Lucy and started taking pictures squealing and giggling... My Uncle said "I don't know what they said, but I'm guessing it's Japanese for 'aww... cute!!'"


Photographer was exceptionally patient with Miss Terrible Two, and managed to get some gorgeous shots..


And then the bridesmaids swarmed around while she hammed it up while they took more pics...


She refused to walk with the bride, and made her own entrance to the wedding, then she spent the rest of the ceremony swinging off a pole...


Then the reception, at a restuarant in Mandurah where...
we saw dolphins!!!


In the speeches everyone cried as the dad said something none of us understood, but he was crying, so the rest of us did to - it was so sweet....
Then the brother gave a speech and Lucy said really REALLY loudly "I wanna go home.."


My cousin and his wife looked stunning, and they seemed really happy, Yoriko realised Adam was teasing her in English and smeared icing on his nose - so cheeky :-)


All in all it was a great day, and Lucy was sooo well behaved - everyone said what a good girl she was, and how polite and cute..


So congratulations to Adam and Yoriko, the odds are in their favour (only one marriage in our family has lasted so far, another good marriage is statistically probable!)

Psycho Mother Turns Child Lesbian Before Child Can Say Lesbian!!

Yesterday Lucy was looking for Ken, to make a family.

She has a favourite Barbie, and a barbie baby, she gets Ken involved to complete the family.
She couldn't find Ken anywhere, and was getting a bit upset about it.
To stave off the tears I told her that in some families a baby can have two mommies.

Her reply?


"WOW!! YEAH!!"





She hasn't touched Ken since...

Shiny happy people kind of day

Aaah... Today we went to the Galleria Shopping Centre, for plates and a present for a friend of mine. We borrowed mums car to go, which was a real treat :-) It wasn't until we arrived that I noticed the stroller was missing from the boot... Hmmmm....... to go back or not to go back. To have a handy timeout chair in my immediate vicinity or to wing it.. We chose life. We winged it!!


Lucy was actually really well behaved, she only ran off once, and she was good after I threatened her with having to sit in the trolley for the rest of the trip. She walked by my side, and was cheerful and pleasant. I bet you are thinking, "Oh, then it didn't take long then?"


How wrong you are. If you thought that, then you obviously have never spent much time listening to me rant about the friendly, chatty nature of my lil Lucy. EVERY single person that walked past us got at least smiled at, although most of the people we passed got talked to, and some got kisses blown when we eventually moved another inch forward..


You may think that I am exaggerating here, after all, it is a big, busy shopping centre. I'm not. At all :-( I wish I were.


We talked to all sorts of people (yes, even one in a wheelchair - who Lucy was very polite to), we talked to old people, young people, people with kids, people who looked although kids may in fact be demon spawn... (I liked these people, I like it when Lucy smiles and says "I like you lady," and ruins all the complaints they may have against unruly children in shopping centres all over the world.)


So anyway, we eventually reached the shop we wanted, and began to look at plates. Word of warning to you all - never let a child who doesn't know all of their colours choose anything for the house.. Seriously.


So we bought a dinner service (two actually in case of breakages - there is a klutz in the house. Yeah, yeah, I break things all the time). We also bought some contact lense solution, and I had the most interesting conversation paying for this cleaner, trying to explain what contacts are, what they do, and *gasp!* how they work???


Keep in mind that the Lucy doesn't yet understand about the man downstairs who is deaf, and we see him nearly everyday. She gets mad at him because she says "hello man" and he 'ignores' her every time.


Then we went on the hunt for Gemmies bday present, which was accompanied by a tuneful rendition of 'happy birthday.' On repeat. Volume - high (highest?)


In between talking to everyone from one end of the mall to the other of course.


We found what we were looking for, and then went and had KFC for lunch (we never have fast food, because I hate the idea of walking to the closest ones to get it - it kinda becomes slow food..).

Lucy had one nugget and a toy (grrr....) and I had a burger (oh yum).


On the way home (less than ten minutes away) Lucy fell asleep. In the car. Which she hasn't done since she was really little. Oh unless you count driving to and from the desert six hours each way (at night time no less). Then the last time was only several months ago.


So I decided not to wake her, and to take advantage of having a car at my disposal. It has been too long since my last road trip!!


So we travelled from Morley to Cottesloe, and then up to Whitfords via the most scenic, coastal route we could take.


What a beautiful day!! Emerald ocean, no traffic, bright sun, clear skies and a sleeping child - if there is a god he couldn't have planned my day any better :-)

Lucy's Top Ten of Everything

#1 Disney (thank goodness or I'd have to watch it by myself!)

#2 Tim, from Hi-5. Although if I am honest, he may just be one of my top ten... He is very yummy.... ahem, back to the list..

#3 Spiderman. Yup, she is a big fan for a little girl. She even has the plate. (I couldn't resist buying it for her - she was cuddling it in the shop)

#4 Charlies Angels. I am very pleased with this, because every now and then I get to watch an adult movie, and I have completely convinced myself that it is good for her to watch Girls Kick Ass. Good for her future belief in herself or something.....

#5 Monk and nino. (Milk and Milo) which she would replace food for if she could get away with it. So she has it instead of food at Nannys house whenever we are there.

#6 Pretending to be animals. She actually does a believable performance of a monkey. Oscar worthy.

#7 Dead things. Yup, I have raised a little redneck. She likes to point out dead animals, and is fascinated with them. The scene in The Lion King where Mufasa dies Lucy always says "aw, Daddy dead now, he no sleeping - he dead." I think her redneck tendencies come from item eight..

#8 Going shooting at the farm. She likes the BANG! She used to ask to go bang bang. And if the guns were out being cleaned, she would ask if she could go out bang bang. She loved looking at the killed animals, she was intrigued. I think because she could have a good look at the animals she could normally only see from a distance. Also when we went shooting, we'd often run over animals like emu or kangaroos (they are vermin, it isn't cruel, I swear!) and Luc would sit in the back hooting with laughter saying "more Emoo, more Emoo!! Pwease!!"

#9 Makeup. She loves it. I hate it (very messy). I love it when Nanny volunteers to play makeup with her. Then SHE can look like a clown extra for Dumbo.

#10 Eating meat. She loves that we eat animals. I have a friend who won't let her little girl know what she is eating, she says everything is 'meat.' Even chicken. So that her girl doesn't "lose that innocence." My redneck child knows that you get milk, cheese, icecream and meat from a cow. And that bacon comes from a pig. After watching Babe this morning I got the idea to have bacon sandwiches for lunch, and Lucy was stroking the bacon saying "aw, nice piggy, yum yum, I eat it all up." Hmmm..... She also clucks when eating nuggets.. But, I figure it will be okay, we didn't make it to the top of the food chain to pussyfoot around and say we don't eat animals.


So there we go, Lucy's Top Ten of Everything. In no particular order.

Although, thinking about it, I could probably cut down to three things: being a redneck, watching movies, and drinking milk.



Anyway, I'm going back to watching Hi-5. They are singing Action Heros, and Tim has a cute move coming up...

Went into the city today, spent too much money on clothes and a haircut for Lucy. $13 for a two year olds cut! I am in shock, because normally I cut it myself at home while she is colouring. But I am the only one in my mothers group who even dared to do such a thing (even though it looks fine) so I was peer pressured into paying :o(

Bought clothes for each of us, for the new season that arrived before I realised.. spent as much on her tiny scraps of material as I did on mine lol, kids clothes cost a small fortune :op

The on the way home yet another "Lucy-why-did-you-say-that-now-I-want-to-crawl-into-a-hole-and-die" incident occurred. She is very intrigued at the moment, with people who are different. Last time we caught the train to my mums house, she pointed at a girls peircings and said "wassat mommy?" When I gave her an inadequate response, she went right up to her face, and pointed again. "No mommy, WASSAT?!!"


Todays crawl in a hole occurred when we got on the train with a heap of disabled passengers. People who were mentally disabled, physically, a blind guy etc.... One of the girls in a wheelchair had some sparkly streamers, and Lucy pointed oh so subtley at her and said......................


"Oooh, bitty barkles!!" (rough translation - pretty sparkles)


PHEW!! I was so relieved I didn't see her eyeing off another girl in a wheelchair. When I heard-

"Mommy... dat lady a baby? lady pram mommy... LOOK mommy..... mommy, baby lady.."





Oooh, earth, open up and swallow me whole!!


She then proceeded to tickle random adults, giggling and saying "I like you lady," to the ladies AND the men. Hmmm..... I think we need to work on her comuter skills.....

It could have been worse though - there was a baby on the train screaming it's wee head off, surrounded by a bunch of displeased adults. At least our end of the carriage were cracked up laughing....
Even if it was in a 'hey I've just been molested by a two year old' kinda way

The most annoying (and lets face it, bloody stupid) thing Lucy has done to date:


Woke me up at 4:59 (yes that minute detail was important at the time, believe me) by saying "I'm tired mommy!"



No shit.


I'm guessing this is why people put their kids in tumble dryers.

Well, my little Lucy has proven herself popular at the shops yet again.... Everytime we go, she flutters her lashes at some unsuspecting person, and they fall over themselves to do her bidding. She went up to a stranger and tickled them, she dropped things on purpose and got them picked up for her, and she said hello to every person that we passed. Of course they all smiled indulgently back and stopped to talk to her. I swear, the older this girl gets, the longer it takes to do the shopping.


But what a beautiful day! Gorgeous sunny weather, slight breeze to take the edge off the heat. Lovely lovely summer is coming!

Lucy and I went to my mums today, for the day and the night. I decided that seeing as mum owns her house, and it theoretically doesn't matter if Luc ruins the place, so I figured today would be a great day for painting.

Mum had this huge canvas, bigger than my tiger, and we got out heaps of paints and glue and sparkles (barkles as Lucy calls them). She painted circles, and lines with a paintbrush, and then she painted her tummy and rubbed it on the canvas. She fingerpainted, she tummy painted, she hand painted. Then I brought out a spray bottle, and Lucy sprayed paint on her mural, and then on nannys pants giggling.

When she had finished painting, we filled ballons with glitter and sand, then blew them up and popped them over the picture.

What a great day!

Lucy has clogged the toilet for the third time. She stuffs whole rolls of toilet paper down there, and then flushes so it is harder to fish out. I have been trying to leave the paper up high out of reach - but last night I forgot and went to bed.



Carrie the plumber....


People often ask if I want more kids, and I often feel like saying:
"Are you serious? Sometimes I don't even want this one!"

I think the people who tell you how to raise kids are the ones who don't have any. PRIME EXAMPLE: Supernanny. Yes, that's right, that woman has only been a nanny, she can go in and say "Here's how you fix these shitheads" and then waft out again while the poor parents struggle along with the new advice as best as they can. Don't get me wrong though, I actually love super nanny, and I do a lot of the things she does (but I do have the satisfaction of being able to say that I did it before ever watching the show). I am just really annoyed at the moment with people with no kids saying "Hey, do this!!" I was one, I know the ideals of parenting. But now I am a mommy I find it often goes out of the window when they wear down your resiliance like a miniature (which must be really tiny) John Howard. Because lets face it - it is just easier to let him do his thing.
I realise that all the non parents are smacking their foreheads in shock horror. But get off your pedestals for a sec, and talk to a real parent. Sometimes you just have to pretend you didn't see them lick the fly wire. Hell, maybe it is good for the immune system anyway....


In saying all of this, I actually consider myself to be a good parent. We read. We read the same favourites over and over, but we read dammit. So much that Miss Lucy can pick out a few letters, from those ridiculously tiny fridge magnets (which have disappeared under the fridge). Not bad for nearly three.
We do art. Colouring, play-doh, puppet making, and endless amounts of "mommy do baby.....pram.....mommy do it" which means I have to draw babies over and over.
We make tents, and go to the car park and she rides her bike.
She gets time out when she is awful, and she says please and thankyou mostly without prompting.
Sure, she has the odd tantrum for little to no reason, but she is still a terrible two for a few more months, we are not doing too badly.

I think the things that validate my experience as a parent the most are 1) other people telling me - friends, my parents, and even random people on the street or at the shops;
2) Lucy often says not only "I love you," but "I like you mommy," which to me is sooo much nicer - because you HAVE to love your parents, even if you don't really like them;
3) The fact that random men will smile at us and come and chat me up - I figure I must be an okay mum if the opposite sex aren't running away screaming. And although I always am just polite (just in case) they don't SEEM to be paedophiles.....

So there you go, mother of the year (although not very early in the morning, then I am like everyone else who gets woken up before dawn for any reason other than sex).

Now I just have to work on the MILF thing some more....