Who counts numerically anymore?

Lucy: *Swings into a handstand, topples over and smashes into a chair;* "See Mum?! I'm nearly five!!"





Thanks to Freewebs for the image!

Hide and Seek Lucy Style....

"Okay Mommy, you count to ten and I'll hide under the table!"

*smacks forehead*

Our New Pets!!

We have rats!! Of course Lucy's rat is the super intelligent naughty rat, who tries to escape all the time!!!

She loves the rats, and has gone around telling everyone "we have rats! Mine is a little bit nooooorty though...."

It's great she is telling people she has rats though, because to their faces she is calling them bunnies......

Cutlery Woes...

Lucy's names for cutlery are as follows:
Spoon or fork = "Poon."
Knife = .....wait for it......






........."Sword."

Sugar Junkie

Lucy came home from Nanny's house with a tupperware container filled with those cocopop crackles. Delicious!! Only problem though is she has a rather unusual name for the treats......











...... "Mommy, can I have some chocolate crack?"

Cowboys and Cows and Pigs : Oh My! !

Lucy and Matt were talking, and Lucy asked about Matt's nose ring. He showed her, and she laughed and told him he looked like a cow - "You look like a cow! Cowboy!"

Then somehow we got to talking about what we get from cows (still trying to get her to say things OTHER than meat come from cows...). For the next few minutes Lucy sang a lovely song that went a little something like:

"Cow boobies cow boobies, milk is from the cow boobs!"

I showed her a youtube about milking cows (luckily I found a G rated clip, I was a bit scared searching..) and she ran off giggling.

I checked my email and was replying to some messages when I heard hooting and uproarious laughter from the lounge. I ran in to find both Lucy and Matt looking at the ceiling talking about footprints.

Yes.

Lucy was spider-pigged on my ceiling, and now I have to clean the footprints off before next rent inspection! ! Gah!!!

Biology 101

I was driving Lucy home from school today, and we saw some cows in a paddock. I asked her "what do you get from cows?"

I was expecting something like milk or cheese but instead recieved the answer:

"MEAT!"


Oh dear.


Thanks to Aubrey for the image!

Heart break can be painful.

Picked Lucy up from school yesterday and she ran out and leaped on me like usual.
She said "Oh mommy I was climbing in the tree and broke my heart!!"

Love at warp speed

Lucy while running through the kitchen at full speed:


"Mommy I love you so fast!!!"


lol


*cockles of heart warm right through*

A true tale of transexuality, intercourse, death and necrophilia.

We were out looking for snails in the garden after all the rain this morning, and I found two snails in a compromising position...

I called Lucy over (because we're all about learning) and told her "two snails were making babies!"

She RACED over to have a look, and in her haste accidently stepped on ONE of the snails. She didn't realise, so picked the other snail up...

THEY STAYED ATTACHED

So yes, one of the hermaphrodites was commiting an act of necrophilia.

I wonder if it's possible that the dead one at that point had all the sex organs or if the living one had them....

Fun in the Rain

Sooooo interesting weather we have been having here in Perth!!

Winds up to 120 km per hour, hail, torrential rain, car park flooding!!!

What have Lucy and I been up to in this weather?


WELL!


The first day of the rain mum told me on msn to get all the outside furniture in the shed and bring in all the washing (duh lol) so we raced outside and dragged it all into the shed closing my eyes so I couldn't see the spiders....

We had just made it inside when the rain started!! I looked outside and thought to myself "geez we have the best backyard - it's huge, we should go for a run in the rain."


SO WE DID.


We stripped down to our undies, and ran around the back garden squealing for about 5 minutes, then ran inside and sat in front of the heater getting changed and dry....

Then I made popcorn and we watched movies all day hahaha

(the movie Lucy liked the best was Edward Scissorhands - more on this later.)

Today I decided to go do the food shopping, WITH Lucy, normally I wait till she is in Daycare, but we were bored at home and the weather wasn't too bad =)

We did all the food shopping, then as we went past the hair dressers Lucy started begging me to get her hair cut. Since watching Edward Scissorhands she keeps asking, do you guys remember the scene where he gets all the women and dogs (yeah made me laugh to) and cuts their hair? So we were outside of the salon, with icecream in the trolley, and she was asking so nicely so I said "yeah okay." We went in and she was an absolute angel - she sat perfectly still BEAMING her head off and at the end she said to the woman "oh thank you thank you lady!" ROFL.....


We went outside to go home and the sky was BLACK. Rain was bucketing down, we couldn't even see the cars >=( Soooooo....... I decided to go back in the shops and buy us an umbrella each hahahahahahahahaha BAD IDEA!! Don't buy them from the cheapie shops! We got outside and mine turned inside out and RIPPED! Lucy was fine tucked into the trolley, her umbrella was a total sheild, she was in this umbrella/trolley cave. I was pushing the trolley (of course I had to get the trolley with a wonky wheel) RUNNING holding a busted umbrella and the car park was so flooded that I was saturated up to my knees :-3

I got the shopping and Lucy into the car, took the trolley back and got in the car.

I took my ugg boots off. They were drenched. I showed Luc that they were dripping as fast as the tap! haha

Drove home.

Got Lucy and the shopping inside.

Then the rain stopped, and the clouds went away. ???? hahahaha

They came back later, we had lightning and lots of thunder to entertain us while we ate dinner =)

Lucy and the Pussycat.

We very recently got a putty tat.... She is Very Cute, and her name is Sophie =)

Lucy LOVES Sophie, in that squishy way that only toddlers through to preschoolers can manage.... you know.... "Oh Soffeeee *sighs happily and squeezes the life force out of poor defenceless kitten* I loves you, you my famiwy."


Annnnnyway...


Sophie has this habit of disappearing.... or should I say... Lucy has a habit of putting Sophie in cupboards....


She will hide her somewhere, then come to see me smiling cheekily and say "mommy where is soffeee?" *much laughter*

I will race around trying to find the poor kitten before she is too traumatised.

So far I have found her in:
Lucy's wardrobe ("Cat in my cloves mommy!")
The TV cabinet ("heehee pussy cat watching YOUR movies mommy!")
The couch ("She norty isn't it mommy?")
The toy box (*rolling around laughing*)

Today was perhaps the worst. I raced off looking for her, only to hear a pitiful mewing from Lucy's play kitchen. Yes. The cat was in the toy oven. JUST. She had obviously been truly squished in, because as soon as I opened the door she toppled out. Lucy's response? "I cook dat cat mommy, She my fwend!"

Now I am getting nervous about her going to school..... What if she tries to cook her friends? (btw I still have the giggles, because I had to save them up until she was in bed! hAhahAHAHaHHAhhAhHahHA omfg it was hilarious =P That poor damn cat.)

Things I learned this week.

This week I have learned the following useful things:

1) I sing like Nicole Kidman (I did karaoke again haha, I know, I sing like an actress how funny)

2) You do not die (although you want to) after watching nothing but care bears for 3 days straight. DAYS.

3) One clothes horse is not enough to get by in winter when you live with a child... Especially a grubby one who loves to run amok

4) Ker-Plunk is a much more fun game if you just throw the marbles around the place!!

5) If LUCY asks people to play barbies, that's okay, but if da mommy does, then people will generally refuse....

6) Cheese is really greasy, you can tell just how greasey your cheese is by rubbing it on your closest window.

7) Cheese is suprisingly easy to clean off a window, even for the three year old that put it there....

8) It takes a long time to go inside if there is a stray cat in the back garden. 32 minutes actually.

9) Stray cats in the garden don't like the three year old of the house trying to cuddle them......

AND, last but not least, the tenth thing I have learnt this week is........:

DON'T let a three year old playing dancing barbies near your nose if it is peirced...... It really hurts when her little legs rip out the ring....... and the blood is hard to get out of our clothes!

Carrie the Almighty

Hmm.... Lucy loved the thunder and lightening soooo much today, that she got really pissy with me when it stopped..... Our conversation went as follows:

Lucy: More tundar? More like now? Right now?

Mommy: Luc, I can't make thunder happen sweetheart, I am not God, I do not control the weather....

Lucy: Why though? Why you no God?

Mommy: -

Lucy: Me reewey wants tundar, pwease? NOW? When tundar coming?

Mommy: Lucy!! I am not God *proceeds to explain the whys and hows of thunder* Okay?

Lucy: Why you no God?

Lucy and Money.

Today Lucy was looking at an Early learning centre catalogue, and saw an easel..
She asked if we could go get one, so I said "no, we don't have enough money sweetheart." To which Lucy replied, "I gots money" and ran to get the change she pilfered out of my purse last time I fogot to put it up high....

I told her that the coins weren't enough, and the easel was a lot of money. She asked why we couldn't afford it and I said something along the lines of 'we are poor, we don't have enough.' She then asked why are we poor (omg I hate that 'why' question lol). I said "I stay at home and play with you, instead of working and not spending time with you, and I am at school so we can have money when I finish."

A big conversation followed, including me labling myself a 'uni bum' a name which has stuck haha.


ANYWAY, later mum came around for coffee on her way to a meeting, and Lucy asked her if she had any money for mum "acause he's a poor oonibum."

Gave her a big hug, told her we don't need money, we have love, we are lucky to have that.

Lucy: Me no ucky, me a girl pin-cess!


*goes out to buy lotto ticket so I never have to explain poverty to her again =( *

Another fear for Lucy, but she conquered it to see the "bider moomie"

Today mum and I took Lucy to the movies, to see Charlottes Web. I LOVED the book (okay, still love haha) and she loves the movie Babe, so I thought we would both really enjoy going =)

(Nappyless still!!!)

She didn't want to go in, because it was dark, and "scawey in dere." Finally got her in, and she was really happy, and laughed at lots of things, loved the spider (although there goes her wariness of spiders I tried to instill in her), and sat there at one point snorting and saying "me a piggy to!"

She was very good though, most of the kids in there were older, so I think the movie was aimed at a slightly more mature audience.... She sat still, watched quietly (except for the pig snorts) and was just a very good girl =)

I cried when Charlotte died (omg, Julia Roberts was the voice, she was perfect for it!) and Lucy consoled me by hugging me and saying "aww bider dead, dat sad mommy, you cry s'aright...."

Happy Australia Day!!

We had a pretty cool day, considering it was 41.8 degrees! We left the house at 9 in the morning, went to mums place, swam in her pool, played, watched movies, tried to make Lucy have nap time..... Gave up on nap time..... LOL

Went to Joey and Roos for about 5, let the kids play for a bit, then went to Mindarie for the evening/night =)

We went to The Boat, which was nice, but Lucy would not listen to me, all evening she was driving me friggin NUTS.

Then we went outside to watch the fireworks, and she was scared!! (This is the fearless child who scales bookcases and jungle gyms, who feeds cows a blade of grass at a time, who tries to climb onto a horse coz she loves them LOL) She is scared of fireworks...... Terrified actually. Shaking in her thongs. I should have thought it through a little more carefully, she doesn't like thunder, but it isn't like she is afraid of it, she looks up to the sky and tells it off. You can see her little mind whirring as she thinks 'when I am bigger and can control the weather.....'

Well we went back to Joeys for a sleepover, and got there at 10 at night. I was AMAZED because Lucy didn't have a nappy THAT WHOLE ENTIRE TOTAL TIME! No accidents! Only peed in the toilet at the pub!

WOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Mum asked "What are you going to spend the nappy money on?"

Muah ha ha ha ha haaaa......

I am really going to exploit this fear of Lucys.... "You won't behave?? Well, I will get the FIREWORKS out then huh? huh?"

Bahahahahaha!

Happy Aussie day everyone, go eat a timtam =)

Awww poor Lucy

She just fell asleep in the shower.

Lay down in the bath (yes, one of those horrible bath/shower contraptions), on her tummy, put her head down, and went to sleep.

But now she seems quite chipper!

Still coughing, less puking...

9 Hospital visits in 3 years.

We just got home.
From PMH (Princess Margaret Hospital for children).

Lucy has croup. That cough that sounds like a seals bark, and she was having coughing fits so bad she was vomiting :-(

We got to the hospital at 7 (bedtime) and left at 10.30.
She fell asleep in the car on the way home.

I was the only parent on my own. All the kids had families with them - Lucy had just me.
So I sms'd her dad and told him what was happening, but he had already been drinking and couldn't drive (Irish!!)

So it was still just Lucy and I.

We coped though, and to be honest we had fun. She was fine in between coughing spasms, so she was running around sharing out the toys and colouring stuff for all the sick kids. She was really polite, and let the nurses and docs shove crap in her eyes, mouth, poke her belly - the lot. She was my little angel :-)

She had to have steriods to decrease the swelling in her throat, so she could breathe and stop rasping and wheezing. And she just took it!! This is the kid who I have to bribe for 10 mins before taking 2mL of baby panodol!!

On our way out one of the nurses pointed to another and said "Aww look at that girl - isn't she cute!!" And they all agreed :-)

I suppose it was because as we were leaving Lucy was saying thank you and goodbye to EVERYONE!! :P

So there we are. The ninth hospital visit in her short three years...
She has been in for:
Birth
Gastro
Bronchiolitis
pnuemonia
near miss SIDs (that was a few visits...)
Alcohol poisoning (she drank a bottle of aftershave that was behind a high cupboard with a baby lock on - and I was like four steps behind her, she sculled it)
And now croup.

I am hoping that this all builds up and when she is an adult she will have had everything - she will be the healthiest woman out there!

Lights, Camera, Action!!

Yup.
I just got home from the Wiggles Perth Concert.

Freakin Awesome!!

Gotta love those gangly blokes prancing around the stage like popstars :P

They put on a great show to - they danced up the aisles so all the kids could see them, and they had a Very Special Guest - Santa.

And in the interest of health and fitness, Santa had to run up and down the stairs saying hello to people!! Poor Santa!!

All the kids were dancing, most of us 'grown-ups' were dancing - it was really fun :-)

I thought that Lucy would just sit it out like usual - she didn't dance to her favourites Hi-5 earlier in the year...

But she grooved her little ass off!! She had a ball!!!

She kept saying "I like dat song mommy!!"

Her favourites were the teddy bears dancing around the garden and tickling you under there....

My favourite was Captain Feathersword, because he was the biggest dork EVER!!
He also had cool rollershoes...

Oh and since 12 o'clock I have had the following in my head:

"Fruit salad...
Yummy, yummy....
Fruit salad...
Yummy, yummy...."

Repeat. Often. Such is the joy of childrens music!!

Kudos to Greg (yellow sick retired wiggle) xx you had a good run :P