Out of the mouths of babes

Ugh...
Lucy is back from her dads, as usual cranky and whingey...

She has also been telling me "I FOUR!!"

I said "Oh really?"

And she replied "You Nighty ten!!"

Hmm... I am ninety-ten... I thought I felt old this morning....

Extra Extra! Carrie and Jo are farty bum bums!

Now that I have your attention....

Lucy and her little friend Roo decided that it would be really funny to sing that us mommies are fartybumbums over and over and over and over........

Such a nice tune to eat pizza to... *rolls eyes*

Australians are all Ostriches

Congrats to my friend Adam the new Aussie!!!!

Lucy and I went and watched him have the lobotomy, she was really good, seeing as it was NOT a kids kinda event :-)

As Adam got his certificate, Lucy yelled out "Add ahm!! Add AHm!!"
And then ran over to give him a hug :-D She chickened out though, with all the people watching I think! But she had a few people laughing and smiling at her indulgently.
One guy said she was 'so cute!'


It was pretty cool, they played Advance Australia Fair, and Lucy was in awe!!
Looking around with eyes like dinner plates, grinning her head off. I told her we are Aussies, and we are REALLY lucky to live where we do.


Lucy replied indignantly:



"I no ucky, I a girl."

Bum-bum-head yourself!

Ugh, some days you just have to countdown the hours until bed time..

Louise said to me the other day that being a single mother meant that my highs are higher and my lows are lower, and I really agree with her. Lucy does something special, or uses her manners appropriately, or grabs the undivided attention of a stranger for being golden, and I can think 'I am her mother, I helped to mould her into who she is." So the accomplishment we have we can take sole credit for.

The lows however are something else...

If Lucy is a monster all day I have noone to lean on for support. If she comes back from her dads saying nothing but 'bum-bum-head' I am the one who has to figure out ways of stopping her. If she blocks the toilet I have to unblock it, and try to make her understand that it is really hard to unblock toilets, especially if you stuff the paper in with the toilet brush. At the end of the day there is noone who comes home I can vent to. Noone to distract her while I go to the toilet by myself. I go to a notice board on a US site for solo mommies, and one woman wrote that it was ten years before she could go to the toilet by herself!!

The low at 5 every morning when Tiger comes in bright and cheerful. I can't roll over and mutter "for god's sake, I'm sure it has to be your turn today."

Or when I am sick and she is the one who looks after me.

Or when she is sick and I have to hold her, clean up and change sheets all simultaneously.


I however am incredibly lucky.


Once a fortnight I have a weekend to myself, where I can shower and pee by myself (not in the shower, no matter what Madonna says - it is gross).


Yes, I will get over it, after every rain there will be a rainbow, I know we are just in a low right now, we will get through it, but I guess that is the point of having an online blog thingy - I can have a bitch and a whinge and make everyone blind from reading my awesomely long bloggy-bitch!!
*goes back to unclogging toilet*
**thanks brain for reminding body to pick up more gloves**

Happy Birthday Lucy!

Mommy: How old are you today?
Lucy:.........
Mommy: Are you three?
Lucy: Not me free! I a GIRL!!

Lucy turns "free"

It was Lucy's birthday party today - she is number three!!

She's never had a birthday party before, and I have NEVER had a party to organise before...

In keeping with that I had about 40 people coming...

So last night I cooked friggen HEAPS - muffins (three types hehehe), sushi, quiches, sausage rolls, freddo cupcakes, and made a load of sandwiches...

Cleaned the house, unblocked the toilet (Lucy clogged it with toilet paper because I ignored her all day), did washing etc etc etc etc...................

I was up until one in the morning organising my little 'prove that you can do it all charade.'

Lucy of course wakes at 5 every morning. So we got up, I sang happy birthday, and told her everyone who was coming today. Then, at about 8.30 (the party started at 9.30) the text messages and phone calls started coming in...

We ended up with 9 adults and 5 kids. And a sh** load of food (and therefore money says poor me lol) wasted. But we had a great day, Lucy was happy to see her friends :-) So thanks to you guys who made it I am grateful to you for trying to stuff your faces for me!!

Lucy had LOADS of pressies to, she was a really lucky girl. She had Barbies (yay!) and a huge dolls house my dad made her, and the Incredibles DVD. My Grandma bought her these two boy dolls, who are just Too Gay To Function. Seriously - one has snakeskin trousers, and they have cutting edge hairdos...

I didn't finish building the Jungle Gym, but I came close.

Go Solo Mom!

Now I just have to last until 7 - then it will be Lucy and my bedtime:)

Luc is off in her room playing with her new dolls, and her pretty white dress is now brown and chocolatey and sandy.. I asked if she had a nice day, and she replied "Smy birfday I bigger now."

So three years ago (looking at the clock hehehe) I was in labour, in hospital, excited (she wasn't born until this time tomorrow, three years ago... uh... whatever).

Three years ago I was engaged, had a wedding organised, a family prepared, a mortgage, a couple of dogs, money, stuff!!

What do I have now?

Love, happiness, hope, and my beautiful child, whom I love more than I could have ever imagined.

We have been through a lot in three years, *raises plastic party cup full of cordial* and here is to a life time more - together :-)

I wanna be a Toys'R' Us Kid!

Today we went to the worst place on earth for a parent...

Toys "R" Us..

Where kids love the choice, and scream coz they aren't allowed to make that choice, or the parents are too poor for a giant pony, or a remote control dinasaur.

So, when I realised I had to take Lucy there I was filled with trepidation...

Heehee.. I should have known I would be happy, and have a fun day :-)
We walked in, and held hands, she didn't run up and down the aisles, or shout or scream! I said we were going in to buy a present for her best friend Paris, and she asked if she could have a present to. I said "no, not today honey."
Lucy said "okaaaaay" in that thoughtful 'you have just told me something new and interesting' kinda way.

So we walked up and down nearly every aisle, coz we didn't know what to get Paris-pie. Every adult we walked past (still holding hands) looked at us in sheer amazement. 'Why do you get such a well-behaved little girl?' You could see the wheels in their heads turning....

We didn't find anything suitable, so I said that was enough toy shopping for one day.

We came back to the front of the store, and I said to Lucy "You have been a very good girl in here today. Shall we buy a present for you?"
The reply was "Oh! Yes pwease mommy!"

How could I resist that little angel?

Heehee, we went home with toilet training Kelly, who comes with her very own toilet, paper, doll to train, and bottles.

Lucy took toilet training Kelly to the cashier, and handed her over without a hint of a frown. She got Kelly back, and said "Tank you lady."

Meanwhile all the rest of the kids in the store were running amok screaming and shouting and throwing themselves on the floor. The cashier looked around and whispered to Lucy, "you are a Very Good Girl."

Oh yes, I also bought a HUGE climbing frame jungle gym thingy, with a slide, but Lucy doesn't know about that one yet, it is for her birthday party this weekend :-)

Tiger birthday party countdown:

Three More Sleeps!!
(Three for me, I will be busy Saturday night making sushi, sandwiches, savory muffins and cakes, and building a giant jungle gym!!)