Lucy's Top Ten of Everything

#1 Disney (thank goodness or I'd have to watch it by myself!)

#2 Tim, from Hi-5. Although if I am honest, he may just be one of my top ten... He is very yummy.... ahem, back to the list..

#3 Spiderman. Yup, she is a big fan for a little girl. She even has the plate. (I couldn't resist buying it for her - she was cuddling it in the shop)

#4 Charlies Angels. I am very pleased with this, because every now and then I get to watch an adult movie, and I have completely convinced myself that it is good for her to watch Girls Kick Ass. Good for her future belief in herself or something.....

#5 Monk and nino. (Milk and Milo) which she would replace food for if she could get away with it. So she has it instead of food at Nannys house whenever we are there.

#6 Pretending to be animals. She actually does a believable performance of a monkey. Oscar worthy.

#7 Dead things. Yup, I have raised a little redneck. She likes to point out dead animals, and is fascinated with them. The scene in The Lion King where Mufasa dies Lucy always says "aw, Daddy dead now, he no sleeping - he dead." I think her redneck tendencies come from item eight..

#8 Going shooting at the farm. She likes the BANG! She used to ask to go bang bang. And if the guns were out being cleaned, she would ask if she could go out bang bang. She loved looking at the killed animals, she was intrigued. I think because she could have a good look at the animals she could normally only see from a distance. Also when we went shooting, we'd often run over animals like emu or kangaroos (they are vermin, it isn't cruel, I swear!) and Luc would sit in the back hooting with laughter saying "more Emoo, more Emoo!! Pwease!!"

#9 Makeup. She loves it. I hate it (very messy). I love it when Nanny volunteers to play makeup with her. Then SHE can look like a clown extra for Dumbo.

#10 Eating meat. She loves that we eat animals. I have a friend who won't let her little girl know what she is eating, she says everything is 'meat.' Even chicken. So that her girl doesn't "lose that innocence." My redneck child knows that you get milk, cheese, icecream and meat from a cow. And that bacon comes from a pig. After watching Babe this morning I got the idea to have bacon sandwiches for lunch, and Lucy was stroking the bacon saying "aw, nice piggy, yum yum, I eat it all up." Hmmm..... She also clucks when eating nuggets.. But, I figure it will be okay, we didn't make it to the top of the food chain to pussyfoot around and say we don't eat animals.


So there we go, Lucy's Top Ten of Everything. In no particular order.

Although, thinking about it, I could probably cut down to three things: being a redneck, watching movies, and drinking milk.



Anyway, I'm going back to watching Hi-5. They are singing Action Heros, and Tim has a cute move coming up...

Went into the city today, spent too much money on clothes and a haircut for Lucy. $13 for a two year olds cut! I am in shock, because normally I cut it myself at home while she is colouring. But I am the only one in my mothers group who even dared to do such a thing (even though it looks fine) so I was peer pressured into paying :o(

Bought clothes for each of us, for the new season that arrived before I realised.. spent as much on her tiny scraps of material as I did on mine lol, kids clothes cost a small fortune :op

The on the way home yet another "Lucy-why-did-you-say-that-now-I-want-to-crawl-into-a-hole-and-die" incident occurred. She is very intrigued at the moment, with people who are different. Last time we caught the train to my mums house, she pointed at a girls peircings and said "wassat mommy?" When I gave her an inadequate response, she went right up to her face, and pointed again. "No mommy, WASSAT?!!"


Todays crawl in a hole occurred when we got on the train with a heap of disabled passengers. People who were mentally disabled, physically, a blind guy etc.... One of the girls in a wheelchair had some sparkly streamers, and Lucy pointed oh so subtley at her and said......................


"Oooh, bitty barkles!!" (rough translation - pretty sparkles)


PHEW!! I was so relieved I didn't see her eyeing off another girl in a wheelchair. When I heard-

"Mommy... dat lady a baby? lady pram mommy... LOOK mommy..... mommy, baby lady.."





Oooh, earth, open up and swallow me whole!!


She then proceeded to tickle random adults, giggling and saying "I like you lady," to the ladies AND the men. Hmmm..... I think we need to work on her comuter skills.....

It could have been worse though - there was a baby on the train screaming it's wee head off, surrounded by a bunch of displeased adults. At least our end of the carriage were cracked up laughing....
Even if it was in a 'hey I've just been molested by a two year old' kinda way

The most annoying (and lets face it, bloody stupid) thing Lucy has done to date:


Woke me up at 4:59 (yes that minute detail was important at the time, believe me) by saying "I'm tired mommy!"



No shit.


I'm guessing this is why people put their kids in tumble dryers.

Well, my little Lucy has proven herself popular at the shops yet again.... Everytime we go, she flutters her lashes at some unsuspecting person, and they fall over themselves to do her bidding. She went up to a stranger and tickled them, she dropped things on purpose and got them picked up for her, and she said hello to every person that we passed. Of course they all smiled indulgently back and stopped to talk to her. I swear, the older this girl gets, the longer it takes to do the shopping.


But what a beautiful day! Gorgeous sunny weather, slight breeze to take the edge off the heat. Lovely lovely summer is coming!

Lucy and I went to my mums today, for the day and the night. I decided that seeing as mum owns her house, and it theoretically doesn't matter if Luc ruins the place, so I figured today would be a great day for painting.

Mum had this huge canvas, bigger than my tiger, and we got out heaps of paints and glue and sparkles (barkles as Lucy calls them). She painted circles, and lines with a paintbrush, and then she painted her tummy and rubbed it on the canvas. She fingerpainted, she tummy painted, she hand painted. Then I brought out a spray bottle, and Lucy sprayed paint on her mural, and then on nannys pants giggling.

When she had finished painting, we filled ballons with glitter and sand, then blew them up and popped them over the picture.

What a great day!

Lucy has clogged the toilet for the third time. She stuffs whole rolls of toilet paper down there, and then flushes so it is harder to fish out. I have been trying to leave the paper up high out of reach - but last night I forgot and went to bed.



Carrie the plumber....


People often ask if I want more kids, and I often feel like saying:
"Are you serious? Sometimes I don't even want this one!"

I think the people who tell you how to raise kids are the ones who don't have any. PRIME EXAMPLE: Supernanny. Yes, that's right, that woman has only been a nanny, she can go in and say "Here's how you fix these shitheads" and then waft out again while the poor parents struggle along with the new advice as best as they can. Don't get me wrong though, I actually love super nanny, and I do a lot of the things she does (but I do have the satisfaction of being able to say that I did it before ever watching the show). I am just really annoyed at the moment with people with no kids saying "Hey, do this!!" I was one, I know the ideals of parenting. But now I am a mommy I find it often goes out of the window when they wear down your resiliance like a miniature (which must be really tiny) John Howard. Because lets face it - it is just easier to let him do his thing.
I realise that all the non parents are smacking their foreheads in shock horror. But get off your pedestals for a sec, and talk to a real parent. Sometimes you just have to pretend you didn't see them lick the fly wire. Hell, maybe it is good for the immune system anyway....


In saying all of this, I actually consider myself to be a good parent. We read. We read the same favourites over and over, but we read dammit. So much that Miss Lucy can pick out a few letters, from those ridiculously tiny fridge magnets (which have disappeared under the fridge). Not bad for nearly three.
We do art. Colouring, play-doh, puppet making, and endless amounts of "mommy do baby.....pram.....mommy do it" which means I have to draw babies over and over.
We make tents, and go to the car park and she rides her bike.
She gets time out when she is awful, and she says please and thankyou mostly without prompting.
Sure, she has the odd tantrum for little to no reason, but she is still a terrible two for a few more months, we are not doing too badly.

I think the things that validate my experience as a parent the most are 1) other people telling me - friends, my parents, and even random people on the street or at the shops;
2) Lucy often says not only "I love you," but "I like you mommy," which to me is sooo much nicer - because you HAVE to love your parents, even if you don't really like them;
3) The fact that random men will smile at us and come and chat me up - I figure I must be an okay mum if the opposite sex aren't running away screaming. And although I always am just polite (just in case) they don't SEEM to be paedophiles.....

So there you go, mother of the year (although not very early in the morning, then I am like everyone else who gets woken up before dawn for any reason other than sex).

Now I just have to work on the MILF thing some more....